Forever Faith (Downtown Book 6) Page 5

  Something in her eyes shift. The shock in them turn into anger. Lifting her chin up, she crosses her arms and says, “Check your phone. It’s all over the place.”

  I lose my patience with her. “I don’t have time to check my goddamn phone!” I yell, making June jump in her heels. “She shouldn’t be upset like this. It isn’t good for the baby. Of all people, you should know that. Now tell me what the hell happened?”

  “Stax House Music. That’s what happened,” she hisses at me.

  Holy shit.

  Like a kick in the gut, I can’t seem to breathe. How the hell was my meeting with Howard and Jack blasted online? Unless…unless I was being spied on by one of their paparazzi goons? Those fuckers must have set me up! Slowly, I try to regain my composure and explain things to her. “June, I swear—”

  “No!” She puts a hand up for me to stop talking. “I don’t want to hear your fucking excuses right now. What you did was unforgivable and I should kick you to the curb for going behind my back. But I can’t do that to the rest of the guys. They don’t deserve it.” She seems to be on the verge of tears; her chin is slightly trembling and her eyes are glassy, yet no tears spill over.

  I know I’ve hurt her, but whatever words were exchanged between her and Faith shouldn’t have happened. “I deserve whatever is coming at me, but not Faith. Whatever you said to her, you’ll hear it from me later.”

  She points her sharp red nail at me. “You’re unbelievable. The two people I cared most about in this world stabbed me in the back. What kind of friend does that?” The ache and resentful tone in June’s voice really hits me hard.

  I know I’ve messed things up, but seeing Faith still crying behind me is worse than anything.

  What can I do or say to make this go away? “I know you’re hurt and angry, but If you’ll just hear me out,” I plead with her.

  All I see in June’s eyes is pain and distress. With her hand tightly wound around the knob of the front door, she says, “Save it, Lucky. I’ll expect you in the studio later on today.” She yanks the door open and angrily exits the suite, causing the room to feel stuffy and hot.

  She’s so fucking pissed, but hearing Faith cry snaps me back over to the couch. Taking her sweet body back onto my lap, I kiss the top of her head and try to sooth her as best as I can. I’ve never seen her like this. “Faith, baby, you okay?”

  “It’s over,” she cries into my chest;, her voice muffled.

  “What’s over?”

  It takes her a minute to settle her crying. “June despises me,” she whispers.

  I wipe her tears away on the side of her face. “No she doesn’t. She’s just havin’ a hard time knowing I went up to L.A. I’ll fix this.”

  “She blames me and called me a backstabber.”

  It enrages me June made her feel this way. “Fuck. She shouldn’t be taking her anger out on you. You had nothing to do with this shit.”

  Finally, she looks up at me. Tear stained and red face, yet the face I love, and the woman I need to protect. “I encouraged you, though.”

  I take her face into my hands and wipe more tears away from her ocean blues. “You did no such thing, babe,” I firmly tell her. “You stood by me like any amazing wife would. June’s the one with the problem. She can’t see that any good couple needs to stand by their spouse no matter what the outcome. This is all on me. I chose to talk with Howard and Jack, not you.” I kiss her hard on her trembling lips. “Can’t believe she made you cry.” Then I hold her tightly against my chest, wishing this pain I caused her would go away. “I love you, baby. Please don’t worry about June right now. You’ve gotta take care of yourself and our baby, alright?” It worries me the baby could be in jeopardy because of what I did.

  “I’ve never seen June so mad,” she whispers again and the crying subsides. I feel her body finally relax against me.

  “She’s hurt and feels betrayed. I don’t blame her, but she had no right to hurt you back.”

  “How are you going to fix this?”

  If only I had the answers to that. “Honestly, I don’t know. The guys are gonna fucking kill me. I have to be realistic, though; JINKS may break up over this.”

  She gasps. “No, don’t say that!” Her arms wrap around my neck and her head falls onto my shoulder.

  Never have I had to console Faith like this. She’s always the strong one. The one who has all the right words to make everything be okay. Not this time, though. It’s my turn to man up and accept what’s coming to me. “I have to, babe. I can’t see them coming around. They’ll be devastated, you know this.”

  “I’m so sorry.” Her whispered, breathy words against my ear is torture.

  “Baby, please. You have nothing to be sorry for. I should be the one who’s sorry. I did this.” I’m so fucking angry at myself for even talking with Stax. I see no way getting around this but to face the others and apologize until I’m blue in the face. In the meantime, I need to focus all my energy on the baby and Faith. They’re my number one priority and making sure Faith calms down. I’d hate to see anything happen to either of them. “I’ve gotta take a shower before we head out.” She lifts her head from my shoulder and I plant a gentle kiss on her lips. “You okay?” She weakly nods her head without a smile, only sad, red eyes. “Love you,” I whisper against her lips.

  She heavily sighs. “I love you, too.”

  Although my head and heart were all in during our appointment with the baby doctor, thinking about facing the guys was seeping through like a bad dream. What was supposed to be the most important day since we found out we were going to have a baby, the day was shot because of my meeting leaking out. Thank goodness, though, everything was okay with Faith and the baby. She needs a couple days of rest due to high blood pressure; something I blame myself for. I could kick myself for being disrespectful to my family. Not sure how this will go away, but I’ll do anything to make amends.

  Walking into June’s office is like walking toward my death sentence. It’s either JINKS is over or I’m fired from the band. It could go either way, and the unknown is what’s making me so fucking nervous. I hate thinking this could be it for my career as the lead singer in the band I created with Danny. I just hope and pray it’s not over—not that God is something I believe in. I wasn’t raised on any sort of belief system. But praying is my last hope. I’ve got nothing else.

  June sees me enter and immediately gets up from her chair. “June, we need to talk before I face the others.”

  “Too late, bro,” Danny says behind me with an angry edge to his voice.

  One by one, the guys crowd around me with disappointment written on their faces. I’m one hundred percent sure they all hate me right now. The only one not here is Lyric. She’s out of town; something to do with her brother Brock. One less disappointed scowl is fine by me.

  “You have somethin’ to share? We’re all here,” Danny impatiently starts. His arms are crossed over his chest with this penetrating death stare. He looks about ready to punch me to the ground. I’ve seen him angry, but this is beyond anger; it’s a painful, slow burn that won’t go away overnight. Or, if ever.

  Here goes nothing. “Okay, look—”

  He interrupts me, and takes a giant step toward me, and points a finger at my face. “No, you look,” he shouts. “Have you been so fucking miserable that you had to go screwin’ around looking for other gigs? If you’ve forgotten, JINKS is a pretty fucking great band. Ask the fans. Ask anyone!” He extends his arms out like wings. “We won a goddamn Grammy for fuck’s sake.”

  Then Slim steps forward. “What were you thinking, Luck? Do you not want to be part of the band anymore?”

  But Danny cuts right back in. “You really think after what you did we can just go on like nothing happened? Fuck! We’d never do something like this to you! Out of everyone here, you’re the last person I’d think would even consider leaving.”

  He’s absolutely right, but not being able to get a word in pisses me off. “Alright,”
I shout back. “I’m hearing you loud and clear, but shut the fuck up already and let me explain.” I turn toward June. “June… Faith had nothing to do with this. So let’s get that out of the way. She’s my wife and havin’ my baby. How you treated her this morning was out of line. Her blood pressure was sky high when we went for our appointment, all because of your anger toward her. This whole thing happened because of me. Not her. I expect you to apologize to her when you’ve had a chance to chill.”

  She leans against her desk, folding her arms under her chest. “Chill? This is hardly something I can chill over, Lucky.” How can she disconnect herself from Faith so easily? I thought she’d at least be concerned about her best friend. It kinda kills me.

  “Jesus, June,” Slim exclaims. “Show a little compassion. Are Faith and the baby alright, man?”

  I nod my head. “Yeah, she just needs to rest for a couple days.”

  Again, Danny is impatient and continues to have the upper hand in this. “Okay, now that we know Faith and the baby are fine, get to the part where you were gonna leave BT and become a big solo sensation. Oh and uh, have your own reality show, too. Fucking hell,” he groans and looks down at the floor.

  Surveying each of the guys, I take a minute to gather my thoughts. Surprisingly, they give me the chance to do so. The damage I did to them will last me for the rest of my life. Once I explained to them my side of things I thought it would have changed their perception of me. But the torment in their eyes is still there. So I continue defending myself. “You’ve gotta understand, the itch wasn’t gonna go away. I had to see what they had to say. I’m not proud of it because the whole time, you all were on my mind. I felt like such a jackass.”

  “I’ve got other names for you, but go on,” Danny counters me. I know he wants me to push back, but I don’t have the strength. I deserve what’s coming.

  “Do you wanna leave us, bro?” Slim quietly asks again. It’s obvious he’s worried I’m ready to bail.

  “Hell no. You guys are my family.”

  “But you were thinking of ditchin’ your family. Not fucking cool,” Wayne speaks up. He has every right to voice his opinion. What I did wasn’t cool. It wasn’t fucking cool at all.

  “It was a mistake going up there. I heard what they had to say and…yeah, I felt sick. I’m being honest when I say I couldn’t ever leave you guys. I even told them that. You have to know I was going through something at the time, alright? I can’t explain it. If some big chumps like Stax House came up to you, I think you would do the same thing.” I look at June. “No offense, June. Really, you had to be in my shoes to know how that felt.”

  “I guess we’ll never know.” Danny shrugs.

  I’m not making a dent with anyone here, but I continue to try anyway. “Look, these players… they’re only out for money, and big names for their show. I was just one they wanted to sink their claws into, to spite June. I really believe that.” I eye each and everyone in this room, making sure they see and hear how deeply sorry I am. “I’m sincerely sorry, guys. You have no idea how much this is tearing me up inside.”

  “Sorry just isn’t enough, bro,” Danny tells me, stone-cold face and all.

  “Danny…” Slim sounds like he may be considering accepting my apology. One can only hope.

  “It isn’t!” Danny turns to Slim. “He was going to leave us, Slim. Think about it. He was going to leave us high and dry, including June. It’s fucking whacked and incredibly selfish.” He turns back to me. “If we’re all being fucking honest, I’m not so sure I can work with you anymore.”

  Although I was prepared for this moment, I have to admit, the outcome is crushing me. “Anybody else feel the same?” I painfully ask.

  Wayne’s the first one to speak. “I’m with Danny this time. You’re a selfish prick, Luck.”

  I feel my throat closing up. This can’t be the end. It just can’t be. “Jason?”

  Jason shakes his head. “You fucked up.” Just those few words conclude his decision. I was really hoping he’d give me another answer. This sucks.

  I still have hope, though. “Slim, come on, man.” I know he can see how desperate I am to keep us together.

  “It was a porchdick thing to do, you know that. So I have to support my brothers. Sorry, dude.”

  Crushed.

  Now that everyone has stated their decision and there’s no hope for me at all, I turn to June again. “June… I’m sorry. I never meant to disrespect you.”

  “Yeah, well, what’s done is done. All of you guys are still on contract, though, and need to finish the year out, so… We’ll revisit this when the contract is up. But in the meantime, Lucky? You’re on your own.”

  Maybe this summer on tour the guys will find it in their hearts to forgive me. I need that more than ever. But June still being upset with Faith has me cornered and worried. I have to remind her my wife didn’t make my decision. “Wait. What about Faith? She had no part in this. She only gave me her love and support.”

  “That’s the thing. She was and is your biggest supporter. I have no doubt she was going along with whatever you wanted. So yeah, she did have a part in this.”

  EVER SINCE THE GUYS BASICALLY told me JINKS may no longer be together after the tour, I’ve been in a slump for the past couple days; uninspired to write music or play my guitar, let alone do much else. My phone’s been blowing up with messages from my publicist wanting the goods on that damn article. It’s insane how one mishap can turn into such a circus. I really walked into the fire and got burned, with no way to fix it. I can’t seem to find the light at the end of the tunnel. Music’s my life. It’s who I am. Without JINKS and BT2090, I’m not sure what will happen to me. I guess I’ll have to shop around for another label. But in the meantime, Justin and I have a small gig this coming weekend. Other than that, the hours in the day have blurred by me in stress and regret. At least I can look forward to a night of singing and blocking out the craziness I created.

  While Faith is resting, I go to the gym and work out for an hour or so, then quickly take a shower once I get back. I needed to blow off some steam for the sake of my sanity before I completely lose it. I can’t and won’t let what’s happened affect me to where I can’t function. I have a baby coming in a few months and now isn’t the time to drown in sorrow.

  Faith’s still sleeping when I finish dressing and head for the living room to watch a little TV. There’s a knock on the front door just as I’m about to sit down on the couch. The new video monitor next to the door shows me Lyric is here. As much as I want to avoid her, I can’t. I have to hear her out and grant her permission to chew me out as well. She’s one of the reasons JINKS has gotten so far in the music industry. We were very fortunate to have found her when we did.

  Grabbing my baseball cap, I place it backwards on my head and then open the door. Lyric’s the last person I want to talk to right now, but I gotta chug through this. When I open the door I see nothing but confusion and hesitation in her eyes. Like coming here was the last thing she wanted to do too. “Hey Lyric. Uh, come in.” I open the door wider for her as she steps inside.

  She looks around the room and asks, “Is Faith around?”

  “She’s resting.”

  “Is she okay? The baby?” she asks with deep concern. Definitely not the first thing I’d expected her to ask.

  “Yeah, yeah. They’re both fine, but Faith’s been under some stress lately so the OBGYN told her she needed to rest for a couple days.”

  “Good.” She smiles with relief. “Slim told me about the high blood pressure.”

  “Yeah.” For a few moments there’s an uncomfortable silence between us. I know the reason she’s here, and I’m ready for it to be over. “Come sit down.” I lead us back to the couch I so wanted to plant myself all day in before she showed up. “Want anything to drink?”

  Sitting across from me, she places her purse on the coffee table, gathering her hands together and resting them on her knees. “No, thanks.”

&
nbsp; I fix the hat on my head even though it doesn’t need fixing. I’m honestly quite nervous so I’ll just make this easy on her and get to the point. “Look, I know why you’re here. I’m a complete disappointment and fucking asshole. Don’t need to remind me.” I look down at my new gun metal grey wedding band, twisting it around my finger.

  “Actually, I’m not here to judge you.”

  My eyes pop up to hers. “What? Why not? Everyone else is.”

  She shakes her head. “I’m sorry about that.”

  “Not your fault.” I shrug.

  “I know, it’s just…” She sighs and from the looks of things, she’s trying to find the right way to tell me what’s on her mind. “I’ve been trying to wrap my head around this whole thing, and I can only guess why you did it. You were curious and flattered, right? I mean, it must have felt amazing that someone as big as Stax House wanted you.”

  Whoa!

  Besides my wife, Lyric’s the first one to actually take my side. She explains my reasons so spot on. I wish everyone saw it the way she does, but it still doesn’t make me talking with Stax any smarter or better. They only wanted one thing out of me. “Yeah, you’re right, but they only wanted me for the show, though.”

  “It doesn’t matter. They still wanted Lucky Jones.”

  I cross my arms, curious as to why she’s not really pissed off at me. “Why are you not upset about this?”

  She lightly chuckles “Oh, I was, in the beginning, believe me. But I had to detach myself from the equation and put myself in your shoes. In my heart, I knew you never truly wanted to leave. You just wanted to see how it felt, only for an hour or so, to be on the other side of the tracks. I imagine playing with Justin Heart peaked your interest, perhaps?”

  It’s crazy how Lyric can describe something I couldn’t even put into words myself. It makes total sense. “Yeah,” I say out of surprise. “It’s different, ya know? Like I’m alone up there. It’s quiet and serene—if that makes any fucking sense.”